Letting Go

Have you been hurt by someone? Have you been wronged by someone? By one, or by many?

Are you holding onto that hurt or that wrong? Do you think about it sometimes or maybe quite often?

Do you still feel the pain months or years after it happened?

Maybe your friend said one thing to you, maybe made a promise or gave their word and then did the opposite. Maybe a person you trusted lied to you. Maybe someone you love has betrayed you. Maybe someone who should have loved you abused you. Maybe your spouse has cheated on you. There are many, many ways we can be hurt and wronged.

Whatever it is that caused your pain, be it physical, emotional, or mental is still causing you pain..it CAN be healed!!

I watched an interview on t.v. a few weeks ago that showed the power of forgiveness and the healing that follows.

The man being interviewed had a son who was viciously murdered in cold blood. Taken down at a young age in the prime of his life.

The man who murdered this young man was caught, arrested and put into prison.

The father of the man who was killed was full of anger, full of rage, full of hurt, pain and anguish. He lived with this pain, anger and rage inside of him for many months until he decided to do something about it.

He wrote a letter to the murderer of his son. He told of the horrid pain caused by this man. He told of his nightmares, of his total anguish and despair, he wrote of how it felt to have to bury his son.

He poured his heart and soul out in his letter and before he signed his name to it, he wrote one more thing. He wrote something he didn't intend on writing, something he didn't think or know he could write. He wrote three words.

"I FORGIVE YOU"

When he wrote those three words he had no idea how it would impact his life or the life of the man who took his son's life.

He then signed the letter and mailed it to the man in prison.

Over the next few weeks this father felt a great healing take place within him. The anger faded. The rage faded. The hurt, anger and pain were gone.

A while later he received a letter from his son's murderer. In it, this man wrote of his childhood, he wrote of neglect and abuse, he wrote of his struggles with addiction to alcohol and drugs. He told of the pain he had endured and how he believed he was unlovable and unforgivable .

He said that he wasn't going to read this man's letter, he threw it aside and tried to forget about it but something kept tugging at him to open it and read it.

As he read through the letter he never imagined he would see those three words written at the end. Those three words turned his life around.

Over years this man in prison for murder and the father of the boy he murdered wrote back and forth, exchanged phone calls and even visited face to face in the prison, and they formed a very strong friendship.

Three words made two lives change forever.

The father taught his son's murderer of love and forgiveness and the murderer started to study the word of God.

In the end, when the man who killed this boy was released from prison, he became a minister, fell in love, married and ended up preforming the nuptials for the sister of the man who's life he took.

I found this story of complete forgiveness astounding. And I had to ask myself, could I honestly forgive someone if they murdered my own child? My answer is..I hope so!!!

Are you holding onto hurt that someone caused you? Are you holding onto a wrong you feel was done against you? If you can honestly answer no, then congratulations! But, if you answered yes, then you have some work to do and you CAN do it but you can't do it alone.

You may not realize what holding onto that pain does to you, your life and those in your life. It robs you of having a full, wonderful, joyful life. It robs you of fully loving others, it makes you bitter and resentful and weather you realize it or not, that anger, bitterness and resentment shows through to everyone you come in contact with through your words, your actions and your attitude and through that you can be hurting others and push them away with knowing it.

Don't hold onto the hurt someone has caused you so long that you miss all the wonderful things in life that are right in front of you. Don't allow past hurts and wrong doings by others rob you of all the joy in life, don't let it rob you of giving and receiving love.

It's not easy at first to learn to forgive, it's easier to just hold on to it but; when you learn to forgive you are learning to do exactly what God wants you to do and when you forgive, God will then forgive you.

Philippians 3:13-14

13. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.

14. I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Mark 11:25-26

25. And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive your trespasses.

26. But, if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.

Now, maybe you have the same question as Peter had:

Matthew 18:21-22

21. Then Peter came to Him and said, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?

22. Jesus said to him I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

Matthew 7:7-8

7. Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened to you.

8. For everyone who asks receives and he who seeks finds and to him who knocks, it will be opened.

Put it in God's hands and have faith in Him, for He will take it from you. He will heal your pain and He will guide you and teach you to forgive.

And if you want and need Him to forgive you of your sins, of your trespasses, you need to forgive others.

Luke 6:37

37. Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive and you shall be forgiven.

It may even help for you to do what the father in the fore mentioned story did. I have done this many times and I'm here to tell you that it really does work!

Write a letter to the person(s) who have hurt you, who have done wrong against you. Tell them in the letter how they have hurt or wronged you, how they made you feel, don't hold back, let it all out.

Then on the last line write those three words...I FORGIVE YOU.

You don't need to send the letter, you can tear it up, burn it, or just hide it somewhere.

Then pray and believe. I promise you that you will soon notice a big change in yourself and in those you love.

You don't need to wait for people to ask you to forgive them, most of the time they don't realize how they've hurt you or maybe they've hurt you because they were hurt. Just forgive them for yourself and for your own Judgment Day.

“Forgiveness is a power you posses, with the grace of God; that can and will change your life and the lives of others.”
(Debra Sink Knowlton)

Dear Lord,

Please take this pain I carry in my heart into Your hands. Teach me to forgive, teach me to move on and live my life as You want me to live. Guide me to forgive as you forgive. And when I know I have hurt or wronged someone, please give me the strength and courage to go to that person and ask for their forgiveness. Heal my heart so that I may shine Your light and love for everyone to see. I also ask that as I follow you and learn to forgive that you will forgive me of my sins and any hurt that I have caused others and that you will teach me to think of You before I act or speak so that I will not hurt others along the way.

Amen

Debi Sink Knowlton
3-1-09